Friday, January 18, 2013

Cableless Vagina Part II




If you have read the room chat in which we coined the phrase "Cableless Vagina", you know that we love the phrase so much, we made a room on AOL "Cableless Vagina" just to see what kind of whackers showed up.
As always, the whackers were out there... and showed up
Aside from the AOL Dregs, I was also joined by a friend- Ent8 , just to get the party started... Sadly, after about 10 minutes the AOL"Powers that Be" saw the name, and made the room private..

OnlineHost: *** You are in "Town Square - Cableless Vagina". ***


OnlineHost: Pumpgasv6 has entered the room.
Marebytes: hey pump
Marebytes: welcome to my vagina
Marebytes: there's no cable
Ent8: hey pump
Marebytes:: just the basic 3,,and pbs
Pumpgasv6: hi
Ent8: we only get 2,5,9,& 11
Pumpgasv6: what is this room?
Marebytes: its my vagina,,,sans cable
Ent8: rofl
Ent8: what else would it be?
Pumpgasv6: my wife has the same prob, no calbe in there either
Marebytes: i had them unhook it 2 weeks ago
Pumpgasv6: lucky you
Marebytes: i kept getting slight shocks...
Marebytes: and the box was so uncomfortable...
Pumpgasv6: big bills
Pumpgasv6: where did the coax cable hook up........?
Ent8: u had to go and ask pump
Marebytes: to my cervix
Pumpgasv6: boxes are never uncomfortable
Ent8:ohhhh man
Marebytes: the remote didnt work well...
Marebytes: and with our schedules,,we never got around to watching HBO
Pumpgasv6: was this a private room for you 2?
Marebytes: no pump...my vagina is open to the public
Ent8: shouldnt they all be?
Marebytes: if you can live without the cable
Pumpgasv6: got a pic?
Marebytes: of my vagina,,or the cable box
Pumpgasv6: either
Marebytes: hmmmmm
Marebytes: let me check
Marebytes: hey..look.. i do have a pic,,of the guy from the cable company unhooking my service
Pumpgasv6: lol
Ent8:rofl....please send
Marebytes: he took the lines outside and hosed them down before he put them in the truck
Ent8:spoil sport
Pumpgasv6: ok, explain it to me like im 4, what is this room about?
Ent8:is that after he ran them over his tongue?
OnlineHost: AGdHrtdGuy has entered the room.
Marebytes: hey AGd !!!!
Marebytes: welcome to my cableless vagina
Marebytes: shit ! they made the room private
Ent8:I know
Ent8: hey AG
Marebytes: damn !
Ent8: sucks
Marebytes: those bastards !!
AGdHrtdGuy: and thank god. Cableless vagina SHOULD be private
Marebytes: and yet, you decided to enter
Ent68: just like the cable company
Marebytes: i was thinking Ent...
Marebytes:maybe for Xmas....
Ent8: yes?
Marebytes: i could have my vagina equipped with a sattelite dish
Ent8: one of those nice 18" jobs?
Marebytes: exactly !
Ent8: sweet
Marebytes: we could get the fights and all
Ent8: hhmmm, yes...and dont forget the sunday NFL package
Marebytes: oh,,god,,that would be great,, NFL coverage,,right in the privacy of my own vagina



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hurling ~ Monkeys ~ and the such....

If someone tells you right off that they've been hit by a bus .. and you still chose to send them a pic... well then, that's on you...


DMarti5332:hi there
DMarti5332:you there?
DMarti5332: where are you?
Marebytes: i was hit by a bus
Marebytes: im sure the monkeys are behind it some how
DMarti5332: that's terrible! did you survive?
Marebytes: my spleen fell out
DMarti5332: sounds awfully messy
Marebytes: twas
DMarti5332: are you all back together?
Marebytes: the monkeys laughed - the bastards !
DMarti5332: well I didn't
Marebytes: sure sure sure
Marebytes: thats what the all say,,,but soon,,the monkeys will get to you !!!
DMarti5332: nah.....i don't generally rejoice at other's discomfort. are you ok?
Marebytes: yes but i still cant go to the primate house
Marebytes: its too painful for me
Marebytes: THOSE BASTARDS!!!!!!
DMarti5332: where WOULD you like to go?
Marebytes: hmmmm....anywhere,,just to be free from them
DMarti5332: ok. where aren't they?
Marebytes: thats just it.... i think im free
Marebytes: and they find me... theyre devious bastards
DMarti5332: don't stop trying..never stop trying
Marebytes: its just wont end
DMarti5332: possibly, but we can't give up
Marebytes: i have
Marebytes: i must live with them
DMarti5332: why?
Marebytes: theyre wicked
Marebytes: and evil,,just like the clowns
DMarti5332: oh. clowns
Marebytes: yes,,,,effin clowns
DMarti5332: that could be trouble
Marebytes: nothing but trouble,,i swear,,theyre in this together
DMarti5332: it's entirely likely
DMarti5332:i just sent you mail
DMarti5332: did you get my picture?
Marebytes: yes and i must say...i laughed, i cried, i brought up my dinner
DMarti5332: i had no idea i would have so profound an effect on you
Marebytes: yes,,much like the first time when i was 14 and saw "The Exorcist"
DMarti5332: i suppose i owe you an appology, then
Marebytes: its just that,,well,,the idea,,,thats it was so real......
DMarti5332: is real a problem ?
Marebytes: well,did ya see the movie??
DMarti5332: yes
Marebytes: didnt it scare you....
DMarti5332: no. i was older when i saw it. it startled me. a bit
Marebytes: the reason it scared me ...was...something so terrifying was possibly out there in the world, somewhere
Marebytes: and that's just how i felt when i downloaded that file
DMarti5332: am i that terrifying?
Marebytes: TERRFYING?
DMarti5332: well, i am out here, in the world. and not very far away
Marebytes: oh,,god,,that reminds me,,i gotta let the cats in......
DMarti5332: don''t call me "oh god"
Marebytes: so..let me guess... you had a dog as a child
DMarti5332: no, actually. i didn't
Marebytes: that was probably best
DMarti5332: do you think so?
Marebytes: for everyone involved
DMarti5332: why?
Marebytes: hey..look at it from the dogs point of view for a minute
Marebytes: stop being so god damn one sided

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Storage Needs

N59Heavy: hi there,I'm Rudy, do pilots turn you on ?
Marebytes: have you lost it?
N59Heavy: lost it ?
N59Heavy: never had it....
Marebytes you sick little monkey
Marebytes ive known fellas like you....
Marebytes: dont make me come over there
N59Heavy: you do ?...I doubt that
Marebytes: cuz i'll find out which side your bread is buttered on,,, and we'll make toast
N59Heavy: November, Five, Nine, Heavy....request vector to Cooper top pad...ILS approach.....over .......Know what that means ?....bet ya don't.
Marebytes it's landing calls
N59Heavy: right !!!.....smart
Marebytes: : ) yup - sharp as a bowling ball
N59Heavy: cool.......hope you never get a ride with us..
Marebytes: heheheheh yup,,youre right. I am so sure you sure dont want me there
Marebytes: with the toast situation and all
N59Heavy: most of my passengers don't know they're there......toast ?............orange marmalade
Marebytes: butter !!!!! BUTTER ONLY DAMMIT !!!!!!
Marebytes: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????SPECIAL ????........WHY I OUGHTA.........
Marebytes: ok,,im better now....
Marebytes: Can I ask you one question????
N59Heavy: Yes?
Marebytes: Rudy,,,do you take it up the ass...?
Marebytes: cause i have a small sofa that i need to put into storage
N59Heavy: perhaps we should end this conversation.......
N59Heavy: think Lithium
Marebytes: youre not the first to tell me this and im sure you wont be the last
N59Heavy: my kinda girl !!
Marebytes: but,,,hey,,,its not a big sofa
Marebytes: its not a sofa bed or anything
Marebytes: more like a love seat
N59Heavy: we all take a seat from time to time...don't we ?
Marebytes: i have,,,more times than i care to remember
N59Heavy: ever been sedated ? prostrated ? masturbated ?
N59Heavy: I digress
Marebytes: all of the above
Marebytes: once,,,in that exact order
N59Heavy: <---proficient with chop sticks
Marebytes: have you ever filled an enema bag with Kool_aid
Marebytes: and let it rip?
N59Heavy: Cherry or Orange ?....coolaide
Marebytes: Grape...only grape,,,,,less explaining
Marebytes: so,,,what do you say,,about the sofa..... ????
Marebytes: can ya help me out
N59Heavy: what do you need ?.......help moving it to the street ?
Marebytes: no,,a place to store it
N59Heavy: what day is trash pick-up ?
Marebytes: i dont wanna trash it
N59Heavy: what do you want to do with it...do tell
Marebytes: I wanna keep it stored , in your anal cavity

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Multi-tasking


27PHBasil: hey, whatcha doing?
27PHBasil: I'm folding a load of laundry, downloading drivers for the computer, and trying to talk to you :-)

Marebytes: and jerking off the neighbors dog with your free hand ?

27PHBasil: LOL

 Marebytes: Been there.. but then  the first dog started to howl in a good way, a crowd formed at the door and then my hand cramped up

27PHBasil: I guess I should go

Marebytes: excellent

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Shaved??

Wouldn't you have given up after the first sentence?
_____________________________________________

Wildeve500: are you shaved?
Marebytes: i shave my back
Wildeve500: whats your favorite position?
Marebytes: face down in a bowl of pudding
Wildeve500: Sorry to bother you!!
Wildeve500: I didn't mean to be rude, I'm sorry!
Marebytes: yes, you did
Marebytes: and perhaps one day i'll get over it
Marebytes: but not now
Marebytes:: not this soon
Wildeve500: Well I apolagize for what its worth
Marebytes:that and 75 cents will get me a cup of coffee

Saturday, January 28, 2012

babeball season!

It just still never ceases to amaze me what some guys will put up with if they even think they have a chance:

jonesscott99: hi, feel like chatting with a sexy guy?
marebytes: i feel like hitting you with a bat
jonesscott99: ouch, that doesn't sound like fun
marebytes: well, perhaps not for you
marebytes: but my day would be complete
jonesscott99: ok, where are you going to hit me?
marebytes: knees... shins...back of the head maybe
marebytes: then we can chat?
jonesscott99: ok, I'll tuff it out
marebytes : if you're capable and you'd still like to
jonesscott99 : swing away
jonesscott99 : do I get to swing back, or just take it like a man?
jonesscott99 : have a nice day

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Ocular Penetration


One of my favorite type of idiots is the guy that realizes he's not gonna get anywhere...and then makes threats towards you or your computer...This guy was on Yahoo Messenger..look him up sometime and send him my love..oh, and to grandmom too!

single_s_j_guy: hey up for some kinky fun, what are you doing?
Marebytes: i am just at home....
Marebytes: doing stuff to my dog, with a fork
single_s_j_guy: lol
Marebytes: that I heated up
single_s_j_guy: ??
Marebytes:: and you?
single_s_j_guy: where in s.jeresy?
Marebytes: marlton
single_s_j_guy: close
single_s_j_guy: im in maple shade
Marebytes:: over here contemplating whether to go out to the pool tonight....
Marebytes: and rape the seals
single_s_j_guy: lol
Marebytes: its been a long day
Marebytes: dont know if i have it in me
single_s_j_guy: ur a trip
Marebytes: your grandpop use to say that
single_s_j_guy: lol
Marebytes: how is he
single_s_j_guy: dead
Marebytes: wow,, i didnt even know he was sick
single_s_j_guy: lol
Marebytes: well, its gotta be easier to do the skull fucking now...
Marebytes:thats one good part of being dead
Marebytes: i sure do miss grandpa
Marebytes: he could skull fuck with the best of em
single_s_j_guy: do u enjoy using ur computer?
Marebytes: of course, as he got older... he got slower at digging up grandma....
Marebytes:single_s_j_guy: i am about to shut ur computer down
Marebytes: that man made me happy to have a glass eye....
Marebytes: no one ever did that before....
Marebytes: nor will again.....
Marebytes: poor grandma
single_s_j_guy: sorry i warned u
Marebytes:: i bet she misses it too
Marebytes:wonder if anyone digs her up
Marebytes: you ever give it a shot?
Marebytes: grandpa always said she had the tightest eye sockets he ever saw
Marebytes: mine just dont come close....
Marebytes: but grandpa and I had fun while it lasted....
Marebytes:: yup..me..grandpa...
Marebytes: and the shovel of course....
Marebytes: hey..it seems my computer is still working fine
Marebytes:: wonder why that is....
Marebytes: i was sure someone was going to shut it down....
Marebytes: hmmmmm...who was that now....
Marebytes: i forget
Marebytes:: oh right.... it was the grandson of skull fuck
Marebytes: here i am
Marebytes: computer still working
Marebytes: just fine…everything hunky dorey
Marebytes: but i must say...
Marebytes: i do appreciate the warning....
Marebytes:: very thoughtful of you...
single_s_j_guy: bitch
Marebytes:: yup
Marebytes: to give me a warning in advance, of NOT shutting down my computer.....
Marebytes:: i will always remember your kindness
Marebytes: and will send your regards....
Marebytes: next time I dig up your grandmom
Marebytes: i think I love you